Burn
by Lololova
Summary: "It took him a second because she was smiling so bright, brighter than he'd ever seen, and her hair was longer than the last time he saw her. Maybe it had been her bright smile that had caught his eyes. God, she looked beautiful. And he couldn't help but start wondering what Kate Beckett had done during the year they hadn't seen each other." Prompt from Kim, thank you xx


_Prompt: sent to me by Kim, thank you xx, and is at the bottom due to spoilers. Enjoy loves._

* * *

Richard Castle, the author, walked down the street towards Black Pawn for another meeting about his next book. He was so sick and tired of the people at Black Pawn and to cool down from another fight with his publisher slash ex-wife he had decided to walk to the building. He couldn't believe he'd left the precinct with her for the previous summer, couldn't believe he hadn't seen it would all go to hell. _They were never meant to be together!_ It had been fights after fights after fights until they had both agreed it had been a terrible mistake to even _consider_ to try be together again. And now she was on his back, complaining about his new book? He would've loved to switch publisher. Rolling his eyes he grunted at his own thought, which led him to bumping into someone.

"Oh! Sorry!" he called out, turning to the person he'd bumped into.

Turning back around again something caught his eye on the other side of the street and when he tried to figure out what it was it took a few seconds before he recognized the laughing brunette. It took him a second because she was smiling so bright, brighter than he'd ever seen, and her hair was longer than the last time he saw her. Maybe it had been her bright smile that had caught his eyes. _God, she looked beautiful_. And he couldn't help but start wondering what Kate Beckett had done during the year they hadn't seen each other. Had she gotten any more weird cases that he missed? He could see the detective hadn't chopped off her hair to be that short and spiky it had been in when he met her. It was so much longer now and he smiled at how it flowed down her head, framing her face in a way he had only imagined before. Don't get him wrong, he had _loved_ the short hair, but the long hair fit her perfectly.

As he observed her from across the street, had barely noticed that he'd stopped in order to observe her, he watched as one of her hands landed on the bicep of a man standing beside her as she laughed again. His smile faded as he suddenly realized she was laughing because of something that man said, because he was laughing too. Castle had no idea who that man was, it wasn't her partners, not Ryan and not Esposito. _Who is he?!_ He saw them stop, turn their bodies towards each other and she said something and he said something and Castle found driving himself crazy not knowing what they were talking about. Kate Beckett was smiling and laughing and he couldn't stop the way his heart started pounding faster, aching for something he never had. He watched as that other man leaned down and kissed her cheek before obviously saying bye, if his miming expertise were any good.

The two split and walked away from each other, Castle immediately recognizing Kate's path as one towards her job at the twelfth precinct. For a split second he considered running after her, pretending to bump into her, but the second his foot took a step in her direction he realized how weird that would be. He had promised to call in the fall, _he_ had promised to come back, and he never did. In his defense he'd been too scared, too afraid she didn't want anything to do with him anymore, but deep down he knew that was no excuse. He kept watching as the detective walked away, his burning eyes following her every move until she disappeared at the corner. Once she was gone it took another two minutes before he got out of his frozen state and started walking in the direction of Black Pawn, remembering his meeting. He had to bite his teeth in order to try and keep his emotions in check. _She_ should've been the one to go with him to the Hamptons, _not_ his blood-sucking ex-wife. _She_ had been the one he'd wanted to share his weekend with.

But he'd missed his chance. He had chosen Gina. _He should've insisted to hear what she had been about to say_. He had kept thinking about it the whole summer, how she had looked like she was about to confess something before the ex-wife had showed up to interrupt her. She had looked so cute and insecure as she had asked him to join her outside of the room where they were having a goodbye-gathering for him.

 _"Look I know that I'm not the easiest person to get to know, and I don't always let on what's on my mind. But this past year, working with you, I've had a really good time."_

 _"Yeah. Me, too."_

 _"So, I'm just gonna say this and..."_

Her words were imprinted in his mind and he so badly wanted to know what had been on her mind. He couldn't help but despise his ex-wife for interrupting the detective. And he so badly wished he'd called. As he walked into the building for his meeting he straightened a bit from the slouching his body had turned into during the walk. He might've just realized he had lost the only woman he'd actually fallen for. Kate Beckett had taken him with surprise, had silently sneaked into his heart when he least expected her to. That was the reason his heart was aching now, longing for the woman he never had, and never would.

"Mr. Castle?"

The voice startled him but it only made him realize where he was and he tried to let go of all the thoughts of the detective as he made himself ready for the meeting. He needed to focus. He'd think about her later. _Was it too late to call?_

* * *

 _Hi Beckett! I'm sorry for not calling you a year ago, I know it's way overdue but would you care for a coffee? Catch up? /Castle_

Kate Beckett stared at the message lightning up her phone. It had gone ten minutes since her phone beeped with a message and she hadn't been able to tear her eyes from it since. What the hell was she supposed to answer to that? The writer hadn't talked to her in over a year, hadn't given her a call like he'd promised, and she'd given up hope long ago. It had taken her almost that full year before she started dating again, had only been dating Josh Davidson for about a month now. He didn't make her smile or feel that warm tingling feeling in her heart that Castle had but he had been able to make her laugh and that was enough, for now. But this text... this _text_ made her heart skip harder than she had been ready for, more than the doctor she was dating had been able to.

"What's wrong girl?" Lanie Parish, her best friend, asked as she joined her on the couch with the glasses of wine she'd fixed for them.

"I... I-ah just got... a text," she stated and her friend gave her a questioning look, "from Castle."

The second his name crossed her lips Lanie's eyes popped wide open with a slight drop of her jaw. " _Writerboy?!_ " she exclaimed and Kate nodded, turning her phone to let her friend read.

As her friend read Kate started to think about the writer who'd shadowed her for research, who'd left her right before she could confess her feelings for him. What had made him reach out to her _now_?! Did something happen? Was he in trouble?

"What are you gonna do?" Lanie snapped her out of her thoughts and she hummed in question. "Are you gonna accept the coffee?"

Kate bit her lip. Her heart was pounding against her chest as she thought about meeting the writer again. She _wanted_ to, could feel herself _drawn_ to see him, but... it seemed like a bad idea.

"I don't know," she admitted after a couple of quiet minutes. "He left and never called."

It was quiet for a few minutes before her friend opened her mouth. "He's calling now," she countered and Kate gave her friend a look. "I know," she threw her hands up in surrender, "it's been a year but, Kate, do you remember all the times you wished you could've just called him instead?"

Kate still cursed herself for letting her friend know all the misery of losing the writer. Remember how she'd told Lanie everything, and truly _every_ thing. She still missed him, could still wake up at night with a dream filled with him. _But he left_. She had to keep reminding herself of this because, _if he left once what made it so certain he wouldn't leave again?_

"What if he leaves again?" Kate voiced her worry and her friend gave her a saddened look filled with the knowledge of every emotion Kate had felt the previous year.

"Honey," Lanie sighed. "If you don't take the risk you'll always regret it."

Kate looked down at the text again. _I'm sorry for not calling._ She knew her friend was right, and it scared her.

* * *

Castle was nervous. He kept rubbing his sweaty palms against his jeans in order to get off the sticky substance before she got there. He'd ordered her usual, or what he _hoped_ was still her usual, and sat down at a table in the back of the coffee shop they'd agreed on. He checked the time on his phone and saw it was almost twelve, she should be here soon. Unless there had been a dead body but she said she'd text if she'd be late. His heart was racing and he knew he looked like a nervous wreck but he couldn't stop flickering his gaze between her coffee and the door, waiting for her to arrive. When he finally saw her though, it was as though his heart stopped and his eyes couldn't tear away from her. She looked beautiful. She was wearing her ordinary work clothes but, his belly still made that flip it did over a year ago. Once their eyes met he couldn't stop his lips from pulling up in a nervous yet overjoyed smile. _She came_.

"Hi," he greeted and stood up as soon as she arrived at their table.

She was smiling too, maybe not as wide but it was still a smile and it killed him knowing he had been without it for a year.

"Hi, Castle," her voice was soft, not the detective tone she had so often used on him.

He wanted to hug her, but they didn't hug, and so he just managed to reach out his hand to her in order to shake. If he could still read her it looked like she was a little disappointed for a second before she schooled her expression and took his hand. The electricity was still a shock to him, amazed him that her touch could still elicit such a strange and wonderful feeling in him.

"I-ah, took liberty to order for you," he gestured to her seat across from him, where her coffee and a bear claw were waiting for her. "I hope you still drink a grande skim latte with two pumps of sugar-free vanilla?"

Her eyes lit up as she sat down and he wondered if she'd really thought he'd forgotten about her. _He could never forget her_.

"Thanks."

They sat quiet for a while as they took a sip each on their coffees and started on the bear claws. He was never one for silence and so of course it was him who broke it.

"How have you been? Anything new?"

He decided not to rush her but to let her take the time she needed to figure out what to answer, this get-together wasn't about him. As it had once been his second nature he observed her, looked at the way her fingers riddled with the cup and bear claw, the way her forehead wrinkled a little in thought.

"I-ah, I've been good. I have a boyfriend. The precinct is going well, we still have the highest closing rate in the city. Ryan proposed to Jenny and Espo and Lanie are together."

He hummed. So the man he'd seen couple days earlier had indeed been her boyfriend.

"What about you? I heard you have a new book coming out," she asked and he felt surprise fill him. _She was keeping tabs on him_.

"Yeah, it's going to be released in about two months. I finished it last fall but it felt wrong to publish it when I hadn't gotten the chance to give it to you yet," he lowered his head in shame, he still hadn't gotten it to her.

"Oh."

It was one of the many reasons Gina and him had fought a lot last fall. He kept complaining he didn't know how to get the book to Beckett without her being pissed at him for not calling, and Gina had given him the alternative to just send it to her. It had driven him into irritation because he wanted to give it in person, not through the mail.

"I-ah, do you want a copy? I have one signed especially for you in hopes I would... get up the courage to call you," he admitted and when he glanced up at her he saw surprise in her hazels.

"You... do? Wait," she shook her head as she clenched her eyes shut in order to think. "Courage? Why would you need courage? I waited for you to call, and you never did." Her tone was clipped and looking closely Castle could see her eyes were starting to water a little, which was most likely why she clenched them shut and tried to take deep breaths.

"I'm sorry, I thought... I was wrong about not calling."

They sat silent for a few minutes, eventually she opened her eyes again but he noticed how she made sure to not meet his blues, her hazels focusing on her bear claw she started picking at. They continued to stay quiet and even though Castle badly wanted to end the silence between them he had no clue as to how. He had seen the hurt and anger in her eyes before she had turned away, and he wished he'd known how to take it away. _He should've called, that_ would've taken it away.

"How's Martha and Alexis?" Kate asked and he breathed out in relief.

"They're good, mother has made costumes for her studio, they're talking about Shakespeare and Alexis is thinking about graduating early in order to be with her boyfriend in college," he informed her with a small dislike in his tone.

Kate started to smile in a teasing matter and he secretly wondered what had changed her mood, until she opened her mouth. "Wow, your daughter wants in on the college action, huh?"

He made a face of disgust and shuddered. "Don't say it like that! She's my little girl," he complained and Kate laughed. _It was so good to hear her laugh again_ , especially since it was thanks to him. "I'm going to convince her to slow down," he added determinedly.

"What? No, Castle, you need to let go. If you won't it's just going to drive her away further," she warned but she still had that glimpse of amusement circling her eyes.

"Isn't there _something_ I can say to make her wait? I'm not ready to let her go," he said and saw her eyes turning a bit softer.

"I get it's hard Castle, but you need to let her go. She's ready," she said with a certainty he hadn't expected. "She's growing into a woman and you already know she's responsible enough for the two of you. You've got absolutely nothing to worry about."

She smiled at him and he couldn't stop his lips from mirroring hers. "Thanks. I needed to hear that."

Her lips quirked upwards in the corners and she nodded. "Always."

* * *

Kate was both frustrated and happy about the return of her favorite writer. After she had asked the question about his family when they met the first time they'd found their rhythm again and she'd been surprised to find herself laughing harder than she'd done in a long time. But it also frustrated her so damn much! _He had left_. So what made her so certain he would stay this time? _His blue eyes_. She'd found herself drowning in them once again, could catch herself sneaking glances at him while they were out on cases. _Yes_ , he'd managed to creep his way back in to shadowing her. She secretly loved it though. _And hated it_. Montgomery had hesitated at taking him back but after making sure Kate was really okay with it he'd welcomed back the writer with open arms. Esposito and Ryan wasn't as big fans though, they had given the writer a tough time, especially Espo. Kate had even caught the latino threatening the writer, something about how he'd crushed _her_ , and she'd been so furious she'd bit him off, ordering him to shut up and mind his own business.

It hadn't taken more than one week before Josh had noticed the difference in Kate's behavior and before she knew it they were breaking up. Not that she minded really, she didn't _love_ him, wasn't sure she could even _see_ herself love him. It still made her sad though, the guy was nothing but sweet and kind and here she was, once again, falling for the writer that had already broken her heart once. _But he seemed different_. She couldn't help but notice, like the detective she was, the way he looked at her. As if she was the most precious thing he'd ever stumbled across and she noticed how hard he tried to maintain the friendship they once had not that long ago.

Getting out of the shower Kate heard the beep of her phone and went over to check it. It had been a long day and the case they just wrapped up two hours ago had made her want to just take a shower, switch to the coziest clothes she owned and pull up in her couch to a non-action movie.

 _I was thinking. Would you like to come over? I have wine, or beer if that's what you'd like. C_

Kate bit her lip. It was a bad idea, really bad considering she was trying so hard to keep that wall up between them. She wasn't ready to let her guard down, not yet, not until she was sure he wasn't going to up and leave again. _What if this is her chance to find out?_ The thought circled her mind and she put her head in one of her hands as she peaked through her fingers to stare at the message. With a sigh she started typing a text she'd send back.

 _I'm too tired to come over,_ taking another deep breath she added, _but you're welcome to come over here. B_

She sent it before she could regret it and put away her phone again as she returned into her bedroom. It didn't matter if he would decide to come or not, she was _not_ going to change her mind about her cozy clothes. She wrapped her hair in the towel as she took out the comfiest yoga pants along with a long, thick, knitted sweater. As the sweater was the coziest she had she didn't care for a bra, it would only be in the way if she decided to crawl up under a blanket while watching a movie. She went into the bathroom to hang up her towel and looked into the mirror, deciding she didn't need to brush her self-curling hair. Arriving in her living area again she picked up her phone to see if she got an answer, which made her heart race more because the text she got indicated he would be there any minute. She ran her hand through her wet hair and took a few deep breaths. _He was coming over_. It was the first time he would be over since they starting hanging out again, since he came back into her life. To have something to do she went to get the wine she'd planned on drinking along with two wine glasses. Pouring the drink didn't take as long as she'd wanted to but at least she tried keep her mind off of things. She was just setting down the two glasses on her tv table when a knock interrupted the silence of her apartment.

"Hi," Kate said shyly as she opened the door to reveal the writer on the other side.

His lips turned up into a big grin the second their eyes met. "Hi!"

She moved to the side in order to let him in and he immediately passed the threshold. She closed the door again and locked it before looking to the writer, who was not-so-discretely observing her place.

"You changed it a bit," he stated and she hummed.

He looked back at her and she got the feeling he just now realized she wasn't wearing her ordinary work clothes because his eyes slightly flickered to her body before he met her eyes. She was quite sure she saw him swallow before he looked away again and announced the wine she'd poured. She chuckled lightly at the excitement he showed before she went to sit down in the couch, taking one of the wine glasses and inviting him to do the same.

"So, what are we watching?" Castle asked and she shrugged her shoulders.

"I really don't mind what we're watching as long as it's no action nor thriller, I've gotten enough of that today," she said, taking a sip of her wine.

"Okay then, how about Grown Ups?" He suggested and she smiled.

"Are they more grownup than you?" she questioned as neutral as she could but when he shook his head she laughed and agreed.

About halfway into the movie Kate started searching for her soft blanket, looking around the couch to find it. She was starting to get cold and she really wouldn't mind dozing off a bit either. The movie was good, great even, but she was just so sleepy her eyes took longer to open every time she blinked.

"What are you looking for?" his voice startled her and she met his blues only to feel herself drown. _It's way too late for this_.

"My blanket," she replied and he broke their eye contact to look with her.

"Oh, here," he said as he found it on the ground beside his end of the couch. "Do you have more than one?" he asked as she accepted the soft material.

"No? Do you want one too?" she said with a small curse. _Why hadn't she bought two when she had the chance?_

"No, I'm fine," he waved it off but she bit her lip at the way her belly scrunched up.

He was only trying to keep her comfortable, trying not to be too much trouble, and honestly she didn't like it. She wanted him to tell her how he really felt. _Then again_ , she wasn't any better now, was she? With an internal sigh she took a step she hadn't been ready to take over a year ago.

"How about sharing it?"

He gave her a surprised look and after a few minutes of silence she could see he was indecisive and decided for him. Scooting closer to him she put the blanket around the two of them, and couldn't stop herself from immediately snuggling closer into him the second she felt the warmth radiating from his body. She could tell he had no idea what to do, but after a few seconds of hesitation she felt him relax and soon enough his arm landed around her body. She felt herself doze off when they'd been still for another few minutes.

When Kate woke up again the credits for the movie was rolling and she was surprised Castle hadn't tried to wake her up earlier. Especially when she turned her head, from where it'd been resting on his chest, in order to look up at him and saw he was indeed still awake. In fact, he was observing her face and she could see his eyes was filled up with an emotion she had thought she'd misread for a whole year because he'd left with his ex-wife. His hand was resting on her belly and she suddenly realized she must've put it there, because her own hand had tangled her fingers with his and was currently holding it firmly there. A bit startled by the emotions swirling inside her body and mind she let him go and started pulling away.

"Sorry, I'm sorry,"she excused her actions but stopped pulling away the second his hand landed on top of her cheek with a gentle sweep of his thumb to her skin.

Her breathing stopped and she looked into his eyes only to see he was searching hers. Whatever he found he got a determined glimpse in his blues before he leaned, ever so slowly, down and the small exhale she let out right before his lips touched hers almost sounded like a small gasp. The second his lips connected with hers she felt as though her heart melted and it didn't take long before she kissed him back. The kiss was gentle, careful even, as if none of them wanted to destroy the trance they were in. She felt his lips part and she opened her mouth just in time to feel his tongue seek entrance. His taste had her head start spinning and she couldn't stop the small moan from escaping her lips. Once they pulled apart she cursed under her breath, biting her lower lip.

"What about Gina?" she heard herself ask and she wondered why the hell she would even voice that. _Now?!_

"It was always you, Kate. It's always been you," he confessed and couldn't stop the giggle escaping her lips when he kissed her again, deeper and with much more certainty.

It had always been him too.

 ** _THE END_**

* * *

 ** _A/N:_** _Hope you all enjoyed this one shot! And thanks for all response on my last story, and to all well wishes of my graduation I'm so damn thankful I have all of you guys, you keep me sane. So,_ _ **thank you!** __Have a great week, until next time, xxxx_

 ** _Prompt_** _: One day you're going to see her holding hands with someone else who took your chance. She won't even notice you because she's too busy laughing at the stupid jokes he makes. And it will burn your heart seeing that beautiful smile on her face and realizing that you're not the reason anymore. And then it will finally hit you: it was her, it was always her._


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